The Bible gives us a grand insight into the needs of men in Genesis 27 and 28. In this passage, Isaac is old and nearing death. His sons are competing for the blessings of their father. Jacob, on one hand, had already obtained his brother’s birthright…traded for a pot of stew. Now, Jacob and Rebekah conspire together so that Jacob would receive his father’s blessing. The Bible is clear that Rebekah and Jacob were close, and that Rebekah was on board with God’s intent to make Jacob the recipient of the covenant promises. By the time we get to Chapter 27, Esau has already experienced the discontent of his parents…especially his mother. He had married two Canaanite women who were a disappointment to his parents. As Isaac nears the latter part of his life, Esau is summoned and instructed to hunt wild game in advance of receiving his father’s parting blessing. This was an opportunity for redemption and establishment. The observation has been made that Esau was not unlike many people alive today who do not want the responsibilities bestowed by the Heavenly Father, but who do want His blessings in their lives. It is not our intent to sit in judgment of Esau, but important to understand that he flippantly gave up the birthright, but grieved heartily over the resulting lost blessing.
Jacob’s betrayal of Esau is widely known. Rebekah counseled Jacob into deceiving Isaac with an elaborate theatrical plot to convince him that he was actually Esau. As a result of the plot, Isaac unintentionally gave Esau’s blessing to Jacob. What follows in the text is the revelation that Esau’s greatest need was not the double portion of the blessing, but the approval and blessing of his father.
When Esau learned of is brother’s deception, he wailed and cried with grief. Then, Esau begged his father for a single blessing…there must be one blessing left for me! After that, Esau is seen weeping, filled with grief and anger, and plotting revenge against his brother. Truly, the stolen blessing was not just about the inheritance that came with it, but also about the experience of hearing the blessing of the father. A reading of the blessing that Isaac intended for Esau reveals Isaac’s desire to bless Esau with the blessing of God’s great provision, and also with the authority that came as the firstborn…that people, nations, and even his brothers, would bow down to him as the leader of the clan and recipient of the Lord’s covenant promises.
Genesis 28 continues to teach us about Esau’s need for his father’s approval. When Jacob is sent to Haran in order to marry from Rebekah’s family, Esau takes note. Already, Esau had two Canaanite wives. However, when he learned that it pleased his father for Jacob to marry from among their relatives from Haran, Esau went to Ishmael, the brother of Isaac, seeking a bride. Surely Esau thought that marrying a wife from among his own relatives would please his father and draw his approval. To be sure, many people have married to please their parents, and Esau is no exception to that. That a man would go to a relative and seek a bride, not for the sake of his own familial desires, but on the basis of hearing a well done affirmation from his own father is telling indeed.
As I reflect upon my own family…the affirmations and blessings that I received from my father (and still do), and the affirmations that I share with my own son, I am reminded at just how important it is for this generation of fathers to affirm the generation of our sons. Sons look to their fathers for approval. We become men in our own minds when our fathers affirm that we are men. We are most accepted and secure when our fathers accept and affirm us. Even in situations where a biological father is absent, we gravitate towards father figures whose affirmations mean more than we can express. Way back in Genesis, we see the modern father son dynamic in play, and we see the relational importance for sons receiving their father’s affirmation and blessing. As a father, the Bible reminds me of just how much my own son needs my affirmations, acceptance, encouragements, and blessings. Similar expressions received from my own father have been significant milestones in my own journey. There is something truly empowering about being accepted and blessed by one’s father, which is an idea when spiritualized a bit, really does capture the main theme of the story of God…that we are accepted and blessed by our Father in Heaven, through his unique relationship with the Only Begotten, our redeemer indeed. The affirmation of His covenant blessing is a life changing one.